Not sure what to say

I'm still feeling sick and all of this sitting around thinking makes me scared. No idea how long this will go on for and at the end of it their are no guarantees. I keep questioning whether I will get back to swimming, walking, cycling etc. I cant see how to get through 4 more months of this. I will keep fighting it but sometimes it is hard.
At least I managed to get out and take Bertie for a walk with Sophie and John but was only able to manage 15 minutes.

another day

I had a good day yesterday, but feeling sick today. Went to the lake to watch john, gavin and sally swim...wished I was in the lake with them!

Struggling with it morally, fed up, pissed off and do not want to feel sick!! All I ask is to wake up not feeling giddy and sick.

I am rubbish company to my family and generally do not know what to do with myself- I am bored!

Another day tomorrow...fingers crossed.

a very honest blog

they say blogs should be honest, so here goes.
I am at rock bottom emotionally and feeling sick. Today I screamed the house down and cried and cried.  I phoned Kate the councellor and the girls phoned John because they were worried, Cancer is so rubbibish and I an not sure where and what to do with myself, one half wants to give up, the other does not want to die and is scacred of  dying and leaving people, but living like this is horrible, I have lost so much and today feel like crying and crying,

fed up

Each day I wake up hoping I will not feel sick or dizzy, or  les aching.I  would lie to say it is getting better, John thinks it is.   I am fed up, really fed up, Johnn and Sally are on their bike, mum and celia are walking. where am I ,  in bed feeling sick ............. so fed up. 

Sorry for not posting

I have been feeling very sick, dizzy and getting really fed up.

Today I survived with no anti-sickness tablets until about 9.00 and had a small trip out in the middle of the day but that was it rest of the day spent sitting around doing nothing. If I try to get up to do stuff I feels sick so have to sit down. Its not much fun for me and not much of an Easter break for Sophie either.

Still not feeling better

I got up this morning and managed to walk to the end of the road and back. Not really what i want to be doing. I was supposed to have a counseling session this afternoon but i had to do it by phone and even then i didnt last very long before i felt too sick to talk. The waves of sickness just keep coming and make me feel rubbish.

This is rubbish

Well that all there is to say really. Still feel sick. If I take sickness tablets my head spins. If I try to move very far I feel sick. But i'm getting bored of sitting and lying down. At least I spent most of the day downstairs today but didn't really do much.

Thanks to everyone who has sent messages, they are all appreciated.