a mini wobbly

I nearly did not blog this , but as this is a honest blog, I though I would.
On late Saturday evening I had a meltdown , I screamed , cried and even swore that life was not fair and how hard it is living with this horrible cancer.  I curled up in a ball on the spare bed and sobbed by heart out, till there nothing left. But instead of staying there I got up apologised to John and Sophie.  I have now put it behind me and it did do me good. I know what triggered it and I will avoid that situation at all costs now..

Cancer hurts the people aroind you.

Living with this cancer is not that easy, but it is easier to smile than be miserable, but knowing that the people around you are hurting and finding the cancer hard to deal with somehow makes me feel guilty for having it. I know that there is nothing I can you do about to to stay positive and fight , which is what I am doing. I am very lucky I have such a good family and some very good friends that  I see regularly.
The weekend was good, Friday evening a BBQ because Jacks parents were over, it was lovely to see them. Cycle ride with John in the rain and wind on Saturday followed by a local flower show , which I had entered some home cooking, did not win a thing the standard was very high. I do like seeing the veg on show... Sunday was spent doing house work.

this week is Fun

This week has been good.   Monday Sophie had the day of for the dentist, which was not fun for Sophie but we did get to spend the day together. Tuesday I had a lovely session at art and today a visit to Tetbury with Celia , where we had a very tasty lunch and some very good retail therapy.

After the highs come the lows

When you have achieved something and you are on a high you can expect a come down and I have had mine. 
Saturday Sophie , Mo and I organised the food and registration for an Open meeting at the sailing , it was lovely to be at the club and do the event but my heart has gone from sailing and the club. Sometimes you move on and have to embrace the new challenges.
Saturday evening we saw the Mamma Mia film, girls night out, it was very good, but the story line was a bit to close to home....
Sunday, back on the bike and all was going well till cramp set in cycling up to Oldbury Church, it hurt and we had to get home. I was alright cycling the flat, but hills, ouch!!. So with Phil's encouragement we cycled though Thornbury, uphill , along the A38, the start was up and then glad to me home.... Back at home Sophie and  cut all 3 dogs..just to cool them all down.

very tired, but still swimming

I am very tired, but when Sally said would I like to swim in the lake I did say yes, too tempting and I am glad I did , I swam 1 lap without my wetsuit and a bad pair of googles that did not fit as I had to borrow some as they were in my other swimming bag !! But the swim was really refreshing , cold getting out so I was glad of small cycle ride home and my legs felt ok ish.
Baking this afternoon for the RS200 open meeting, so I am hoping we will get some visitors now..

Longcourse, Tenby, we did it...

Before the swim

We did it !!!!  Over 3 days we swam, cycled and ran.
On the Friday Phil and I swam ,1.2miles and John Sally, Gavin and Richard all swam 2,4 miles in the sea, it was hard and I have done plenty of swims !!

Finishing the run

With run medals

Then the Bike , Phil, Jack, Katie, Sam and I cycled 45 miles mainly uphill and  it was very hard and and we were pleased for the support from the family who were on the course. We did finish and the feeling was great. Mum and dad and Aunty Jenny  and Uncle Tony at the bottom of one very hard hill and Celia, Sophie and Sarah and the bottom of the other,  We needed there support.
John cycled  66 miles and Richard, Sally and Gavin cycled112 miles. I will never know how they did it.




Then to Finish it off we ran. Phil and I just did 5 k ,  we it  ran together to keep each other going. brilliant  run and great atmosphere.

Tri Club after the run

John, Celia, Gavin and Sam did 10k and Sally, Jack and Katie ran the half marathon , do not how they did it...
Such a brilliant Family effort.
I must not forget to mention the Tri Club, Sean  who swam 2.4 miles, cycled 112 and ran half marathon  , all in a very fast time, came 2nd in the half marathon.  Ben and Jake  .swam 2,4 mils , cycled 112 miles and ran a marathon, Liz cycled 66 miles and ran 13 miles, Jess swam 2.4 miles, cycled 66 miles and also ran a marathon. Sabrina also cycled and swam. Great to be a member of a tri club.


Support team having a break

They called us athletes a lot over the weekend and I felt like one, it was brilliant.. I felt brilliant …



On my way to Tenby

I will not blog on Sunday as I will be in Tenby and by that time the event should be over and hopefully  I would have done it all.
I am very much looking forward to spending time with the family. Phil and I have trained hard for this... fingers crossed we do it. There will be plenty of photos...

blogging today instead of wed

I have been resting and getting ready for Tenby. I do feel so much better. I am so nervous about the weekend, only Edinburgh compares to this when I doubt that I will be able to do the event, the other events I have quietly confident.
So I cycled  to Art today on my old bike to deliver stuff then came home as I had things to sort out.
Felt weird being on my old bike without clip on.
So tomorrow a little swim with Cathy and John and then fingers crossed I will be event ready..

More bike rides and tired

The exercise continues with another bike ride with Phil, very enjoyable though. only 25 miles.
My moods are still on the low side and I am not sure why, maybe it is because I am tired and I have pushed my  body a step to fair with the exercise.   Living with cancer is so hard and this week it has got  to me, I am sure I will bounce back, I will just have to accept that there  will be the odd week where I will feel like this !!

Down Days

Thought I would share this . I do get down days and yesterday was one, I felt very tearful all day and for no real reason. Yes I am living and a good life it is. I am also good at blocking out the cancer, but it never leaves however hard you try. I am also grateful for the core of friends and family around me that keep me sane. Better day today  !!

Cconcorde event

last night a group of us from the tri club and family, walk and ran around the run way by Concorde. it was a brilliant event and the atmosphere was brilliant, I ran 5k with Sally and Sophie.
This morning I had a good pool swim with Sally, not up to usual standard as I have a pulled muscle in my should, so plenty of float work, also had a good dog walk with Sally.

The weather is too hot.

Life is just ticking over. More bike riding with Phil and John and more swimming with Phil , then more bike riding on my own... What  will I do with myself. The weather is far to hot for me and it makes the bike rides hard. I am so lucky to have my family around to help me do these made things. Not many people have most of the family to go away with and exercise with.