Christmas

Christmas has been really good. Its been great to see both girls pick up on my traditions.  I have always really enjoyed stockings with lots of small items in from the usual sweets and nuts to useful presents socks, de-icer etc. This year I haven't been able to go shopping but the girls have carried on my tradition and did stockings for each other as well as John, Jack and the dogs. I really enjoyed opening them on Christmas morning. After the stockings we opened the rest of the presents before having breakfast and then having to clear up the mess.

We started eating for Christmas at Sally's on Sunday then here for Christmas Eve and then on Christmas Day at Mums but we needed to call the nurses out just before lunch and so we had a late lunch. Life is never easy but they were great as usual and came out really quickly.

Even though its Christmas I still get tired and so we came home for tea instead of staying there into the evening which we normally do.

Merry Christmas everybody! It's Christmas eve and I've made it! Celia is writing this message as writing for me these days is very hard, but I am pleased that people want to read the blog so I'm determined to send a message. I'm looking forward to spending special time with my family who I just couldn't have managed without, they all help me cope. Time with them is invaluable. I have some incredible friends who have not left my side and I've recently spent time with each of them too.

Wishing you all a great Christmas. Be happy and enjoy every moment. Each day make sure you find something to smile about.

I'm working on new goals for the new year. My first one is to taste every type of chocolate and I'm looking forward to that!

I should make Christmas

 Well, Mr Herbert said there was a chance I could make Christmas, with six days to go I am still here! I must say it is not the most pleasant of cancers, last night was particularly un pleasant as the cancer was very, very painful in my back. You never know how the nights are going to be, last night was a real hum dinger! Having pain shooting through your left arm constantly all night was truly awful, luckily I had John and Sally here as we are trying to work out my sleep pattern as I'm also not sleeping at night. I was told by Sally that I was disorientated, which I really don't want to be. I don't want to be disoriented but am aware that the medication takes the pain away. I have a high pain threshold and I am aware that extra pain relief is needed but I really don't like taking it as it make me feel as if I'm in another world. This cancer makes you question how hard you want to fight to stay alive, as the pain is just not fair any more. I know this sounds ungrateful but I'm in no rush to leave this world. I'm tired.

Getting Closer to Christmas

Since the tumour in my spine was diagnosed I have said I wanted to make Christmas and although the consultant didn't sound convinced (he said it would be a good goal) I now feel sure that I will be here for Christmas. I am finding it really hard and understand how people loose their fight without really meaning to. The longer it goes on the harder it gets both mentally and physically. I am awake a lot in the night thinking about all sorts of things and it takes me a long time to wake up properly in the morning but even after breakfast I still feel rubbish and tired. As the day goes on I feel better and really enjoy going out for trips but then come back home and spend the rest of the day in bed and cant really do anything for myself, since I need someone to go and get things or make drinks etc. Then in the evening after dinner I feel tired again and drift in and out of sleep for the evening.
The drugs are keeping the pain under control most of the time but I don't feel great which is hardly surprising with the amount of drugs I'm taking.

But as for Christmas the tree is up and looks great, most of the decorations are up outside and I'm getting lots of help wrapping presents.

A busy week

A very busy week. Determined to make the most of life, we have pushed boundaries. So...where do I start? I have been to Bath Christmas Market with Mum & Sally and tasted very nice whisky and gin. Here is a photo of me and mum with Santa.

I have been Christmas shopping with Dad, Phil and Sarah for mums present which happens yearly. In between these outings I have days of rest as the pain is increasing and I get very tired.

I am not sleeping at night very well and get scared to fall asleep, and become upset. I am not sure what triggers the tears but I am learning to accept them. As I said before the pain is increasing, which means the painkillers are also increasing which have side effects.

Today I saw Celia in the morning and Jane and Marlyn in the afternoon which was great fun. I love catching up with work even though it seems a life time ago. But knowing I have worked makes me feel good.

I have also seen all the regulars who help me with daily tasks- you know who you are!

Tonight I will have a chilled evening, wrapping up a few Christmas presents and watching TV.

Brean Santa Run

Sophie, Phil, Richard, Jack, Elaine, Lucinda, Andrew, Karen and Sally took part in a 5/10K trail run. I went down to watch everyone cross the finish line. We were very lucky to get such a brilliant parking space and I was hoping for chips but the que was too long!! Sophie done very well and has now found a new love to running with Bertie. She has already signed up to her next event.

Today has not been so good, I have been in lots of pain fingers crossed we a solution sooner rather than later as I want to get out in my car and live!!!

Sometimes it feels like one step forward and two sets forward. But as long as there is steps forward all is good.

Getting more adventurous

Its been great having St Peters Hospice nurse visit each week, but things don't actually change and I still cant get out of bed. I hate that I cant feel from my chest down, and I hate seeing the effect on the family who are being more honest but at least the pain seems to be under control.

I am getting more adventurous in the wheelchair and going out for longer trips. In the last few days I've been to Aldi, The Mall and to my mums to meet up with my cousins after a walk around Little Stoke park and a quick stop for chips.

We are settling into a bit more of a routine but I get tired quite quickly particularly in the morning and evenings which I find really frustrating, but the nurse says that is to be expected as I spend longer out in the wheelchair.

St Peter Hospice

We are now embracing the St Peters Hospice. They sort out my pain control and they are going to give us all some counselling. The nurse is really nice and I feel ready to embrace the journey ahead. The journey we have ahead will not be easy but it will be done as a family every step of the way.

As for me, my favourite bit is going out in my wheelchair and car. I am getting braver each day and going more places. I want to go to more place. I get nervous before I go out as the wheelchair is big, I am worried about being looked at but the more you do the easier it gets. We had some great fun at supermarket as I can't reach for anything but I have really good go first and we have plenty of laughs at what I want to get. I am trying not to be down but aiming to be positive but it is very hard. I tend to sleep a lot in the evenings which I hate, but have been told that the brain tumour makes you sleepy and they say that its normal.

Determined to make Christmas. Sophie, Sally and I are loving spending money

Must add that when anybody walks into the house they will see pringles that will be offered to them because I eat them at breakfast, tablets, tea and throughout the day. plus enjoying chocolate they have tasted too.

Sophie has helped me to typed the blog today

The good, the bad and the ugly

The good:
The car is fantastic, it gives mums her sense of freedom back that was taken when she became paralysed. It allows us to go on daily trips out wherever and whenever we want. For that, she is grateful.

The bad:
Mum is putting on a brave face every day, she aims to get out daily but some days it is hard as she gets pains in her arms has started to get headaches.

The ugly:
Mum is fighting it with everything she has got, but it is giving her a good fight back. It is a cruel cancer that has taken so much away that it makes every day a challenge. Being paralysed from the neck down takes away dignity and freedom.

"I am so lucky, I could not do this without the support of my family. My mum now is up daily, taking care of the house and the girls and John are now doing personal support when needed which is a cruel tablet to take- but they are actually very good at it. I also enjoy my weekly art classes with my Dad and of course Jacks quick daily visits"

We went to Blaise castle today (Mum, Dad, Sophie, Jack and Sally) which has been the best trip yet- mum stayed in the chair over 2 hours, didn't feel too sick, enjoyed being out and didn't feel too self conscious of being in a wheelchair.

Forever changing

Last week mum was in horrendous pain as new pains arrived and it was not under control. This resulted in too many painkillers that made mum go do dally. This week, mums pain is under control and she is a bit more with it compared to last week. However, she is aware things can change quickly, so is making the most of this feeling. Fingers crossed it stays like this. Mum feels more determined to do stuff this week, since coming out of hospital which is simply fantastic.

We have had an exciting new arrival today- Mums very own wheelchair car!!

All I know is it white and we can get mums wheelchair in it. We had a nightmare last week with taxis that did not turn up!! Only short journeys for now as we need to sort out mums travel sickness. Girls day out tomorrow, which we are all looking forward to.

Here is a photo of a family roast last Sunday to celebrate my aunty Sarah's birthday.

Sorry for not blogging...

Sorry for not blogging, but this week has been hard. Plenty of pain which is really unpleasant. We've had doctors nurses and carers in, all are very nice but it is hard to get used to having so many people around. Also we've had to call the doctor out when things become unbearable which makes life very unpredictable for my family and me. The highlight of my day is when I get out in my wheelchair, but sometimes that can be ruined by the pain. Going out to the garden centre was harder than we anticipated, and left me feeling exhausted and in more pain. This journey is far harder than I ever thought and this weekend is family time and I am really looking forward to going for a Sunday lunch at my mums tomorrow. The dogs give me daily hugs which brightens up the day. Although I can write with pen and paper, my arms are too painful to hold and type on the laptop so Sally has typed. Photos to follow....

visit from Bertie

 well another hour in the wheelchair  and a  visit from Bertie which my emotion and fantastic.life in hospital has  this time. but hopfully home next week.

I am paralised from the bust down

I am coming to terms with not feeling anything below. the hospital is great, the staff are brilliant, I have a hospital routine, I am under palative care which work hard every day to make sure I am not in pain and stay positive and comfortable. 

I am grieving the loss of my legs and have been having nightmares which keep me awake at night and then make me tired the next day, so mum, John and Sally are sleeping with me to help me cope, so no it is not all plain sailing , but I am positive and mentally strong.

Everyone is working very hard to get me home . The family are mentally snd physically exhausted
but once we get home things will be better.

I have  wheelchair  time every day to build up sitting outside the bed and I LOVE  IT.
But mainly I am bedbound, I HATE IT.


I never though this would be me being nursed, but  I am, so I am smiling and gratful for everyone around me.

The next part of my journey

The cancer has not gone away. Having the cancer move to the spine (which is unusual) was bad enough, but it isn't behaving and it has decided to go one step further and press on the nerves in my spine. Not only can I not walk but I can’t feel anything from my boobs down. Last Wednesday I came back into hospital, had more scans which confirmed what the consultant expected and they won’t do any more radio or chemotherapy, which I don’t like but understand.

So now we are making plans to get me home. Tomorrow they will test getting me into a wheelchair which will allow me to get around at home and get out but we realised talking to the care team how many steps we have in the house. They are currently sorting out all the care for when I get home, as well as sorting out the drugs so that I am comfortable which will take a few days, but I am hoping to be home at the end of the week.

I still get tired and need to feel in control of as much as possible so will contact people to visit me to fit around all the helpers. Adjusting to this is really hard as I look at my legs and I know they are there but I need to ask people where they are since they are not where I think they should be. It is hard thinking that only 3 months ago they were doing a 45-mile bike ride. Mentally I am strong but even the strongest people will struggle with this, so space is essential and being with my family.

 

Spa weekend

This weekend I went to Devon with Phil, Sarah, Jack, Sally, John, Sophie. for a spa  break.
I was brilliant, I had a pedicure  and leg massage, Sally, Jack, Sophie and Sarah, all had massages. We swan indoor and out, went various different saunas,  The hotel looked over the sea and eating breakfast watching the waves was delight.  The company was the best, just spending time with  people  you care about is the best, plenty of laugher and eating loads of food.

weekends like this give encouragement to keep fighting and smiling.

photo will  out on..

keeping Busy

I .  am keeping very busy.  Monday I had a lovely afternoon out With Jane and Merlyn at Eastwood Garden Centre, I  always have a good time when we go .
Tuesday saw  mum and I visit the McMillian  centre  , the conclusion that Penny Brohn  might be option, I just need to talk to someone with a horrible cancer,, not brain Tumour and spine cancer is not really  hear off.
A very good walk Celia in the evening. Sophie and john trained with tri Club. It was good to see Jess and LIz…..

Today saw Julie and Lisa, such a laugh, then out for lunch with Mum and dad, followed shoes shopping with Sally.

.

I cooked the evening meal, Tockington tri

Sophie, Celia and I went to Watch the Tockington Tri today, where Sally, John, Gavin and Richard took Part. Lovely event to watch and they all enjoyed it.

I also cooked the evening meal for mum, dad, Sally, Jack. I needed help, but I still managed to cook a  casserole ,treacle pudding and apple crumble.

I still feeling not right with a urine infection and other things, but they do have to be gone soon !!!

Brilliant doctors

My doctors are fantastic, I phoned up for results today for  infection, then ended up going  there about  pills  !!! Bad ones!!!  not fun, common because  of all the other  problem.. The receptionist could tell all was not right and got me in. They are brilliant, the nurses, doctors, receptionist . I really appreciate having them there. I see  people  rude in there and it does make me mad as they do so much  good and are totally under appreciated...…

They are have also been good to the girls , John does not really go !

Weymouth

we have been to Weymouth  for an 1/2 Ironman Event, which is 1.2 mile swim. 56 mile bike. , half marathon. Sally was doing it all, but after 3 puncture heavy. rain, very windy she gave the bike up at 52 miles and some kind people gave her a lift to transition. She was safe !!!!!! and I am so proud of her termination to do these events.
John, Jack and I  were mean rely, but due to back still being sore, swimming is proving hard. I am walking, determined, but things are not easy. So John did the swim and the bike and Jack ran the half Marathon, So proud of them both.
Sophie and I did have a very good weekend. The house we stayed in was close to the event, so we did not get wet and watched only what we wanted. John finishing the bike and Jack on the run. The swim started at 7. . I was  in bed....
I must say it was brilliant family time and that is so important to me at the moment ,,,

water infection to finish off

 Well if you  really want to finish to whole being ill off , just get a water infection. I t makes you feel terrible, more tablets, but getting there now. Just want to feel good for a little bit. 

Off to Weymouth to Watch A half Iron Man, should be doing the swim. John is doing my part with the bike, Jack the run.  Another thing I can not do...…  But I am still positive about the cancer.
Sally is doing the whole thing as a warm down !!!!
Packing this afternoon, as intend to shop and shop ,walk along the and have a lovely lunch with Sophie and of course try to watch them ( needle in a haystack )

Straford and Sailing Club

We went to visit Phil and Sarah in Stratford  upon Avon on  Saturday , Phil  and Sarah both work there during the week, it was  brilliant visit and good to see where Shakespeare livid and you are right I am not really into shakes spear but I did love history at school  and it was my favourite subject, I liked my teacher Miss Stace.
Sunday, we went to the sailing club to visit everyone, I have not been down scene I have been ill, so it  time to be social.   I did enjoy it and I do love the feeling of being down there.

Moods are a lot better but really struggling with the exercise being taken away. but saying that walked 2 very slow miles with Celia and a 12 length swim with John. Very hard and it left me very tired..  Walking tom with Celia as Sophie  and John are training with the tri club and YES, Sophie loves running and has joined the tri club and I am very PROUD.. 

Real Anger

 To be  honest I have never really felt anger like I did yesterday about the  cancer, but yesterday I  I felt anger , just a build up at everything , which resulted in me leaving art after an 1 hour,(not angry at Art, just life ) having a upset stomach , feeling tearful and going to bed. John could nothing right in my head and the word was a crap place.  I hate this cancer , the way it makes me feel. the effects it has the family, my limited ability lack of wanting to eat as I have a sore throat from radio, the thought of chemo and everything that goes with . I have said it all.  I just  hope the chemo works , although they have said it works  a lot less second time round.
I have never said why me, and that still stands, I would rather it was me than the girls or someone younger. Cancer is cruel and this one hurt , plus I the concertation of a sparrow.

So I said it all and yes I feel better today, hence being able to blog, but lazy I am . I am still not dressed, but I will be  soon. I also intend to back a cake. 
Elaine popped in and I had a good chat with her and was open and so  did Julie , it was good to say things as they are.  I also was dresses by 11, still very lazy...

weston Super Mare

Sophie, John, Bertie, Benji  and I went to Weston Super Mare, it was brilliant, I walked  and it felt so so good, I am now walking more and more. I am so determined to push myself  and walking on the beach is a holiday to me.   I just love Weston.
We also walked and down to the pier end and had fish and chips , what more could a girl want..

It is painful

The is no getting away from the fact that this  horrible cancer hurts, epically in the morning. I wanted to swim today , but the pain, having taken very strong pain killers was just too  much.
On a positive side today , I had my hair cut this this morning, looking the mirror was not good, my face is puffed up , due the steroids, but you can not have it all,  \I do love having my hair cut.
I got muddled today and missed meeting Ro up, which  is unlike me, but I  had a time in my head and got it wrong !!
I am determined tomorrow is going to be a a better day than today , live life and hope that I can prove to  the hospital  that there is a lot me left in me than they think...

tring hard

Ok. \I do admit I can be bad tempered at not being able to do what I want.  I am trying hard not to t be and I am pushing the walking every day and hopefully If the back is not to sore I will swim this week. As  for life it feels like going  back  many stages and yes I do feel scared about the future and what the future hold, but  I  will cope . I will  not hide, but my own company is still good as I do need thinking time.  I have Kate this week, which will help and there are other things I want to do to help myself, but only I can sort thing out. the family are great.

great day today, saw Denise with her dog, it was great, Benji  played so well with him. Sarah also cooked a fantastic Sunday Roast, so a good good day all round.

life in the fast lane

I  wish.... I am very slowly  coming to terms with the fact that life will never be  the  same again.  Not feeling my legs properly is the hardest thin, one side is better than the other. I am now able to dress on my own, slow but sure, bending is easer and the strong pain have gone . Just simple tings like putting on your pants can be challenging !!! The Radio is making me feel like  really rubbish and I felt sick with it. today  .I really miss the fact the one  me thing that kept  sane as gone and  I could cry at for that.. I will fight. tri are not allowed to be talked about in the house for now, just a bit raw.  I am now at the stage pottering in the house is back . I do feel very  anti social , but I need to come to accept the changes . I am getting there. Talking to Kate and Hazel today have really helped today and I will  now join a McMillian support group when  I can. 

wrong day

 I though I would surprise Cathy at swimming today, but got the day wrong, we swim on a wed and Friday not Thursday.  Still hoping I can keep swimming.

I am having radio therapy on the spine for 5 day days now, then hopefully chemo.

This time around I feel different, I am happy in my own company and the only people that  I am seeing are the people that I saw when I was  in hospital. I am in discomfort, the back is sore and there is not a lot of feeling in some places. I will call people if I need help.... Bertie and Benji never fail in cheering me up and when there is a gap I will see Kate. Having Sally and Jack living close by is just fantastic.

Home

Well Sally was amazing  completingeting her 24. mile swim,112 mile bike and a marathon, as they said she is an Ironman, she finished in 12.56 min. very , very proud of here.
This  has also been Sophie's first holiday without us, but my younger daughter is now grown up !!
Phil and Sarah also had to change there plans for there holiday, best family out.. Jack has also proved to a amazing (like my son)
as for here things will never be the same and I know that now and I am stronger and have the people around me to fight me what ever happens.

coming home

More tests tomorrow then I am coming home. Will back in the following week. This week has been a real learning curve and the NHS have been brilliant. I  am looking forward to be at home with plenty of piece of quiet and to spend quality time with Bertie and Benji.

2nd Hospital visit in 5 days

Please bear with me for the next few days as back in hospital for more tests on my back (2 rides in an ambulance in one week!!).  I am very well looked after all round, they are monitoring the pain. I am enjoying the peace and quiet and making the most of resting. It looks like I will have a few days rest here while they sort out how best to treat it.

I am enjoying the quiet and just having a few family members around.

sorry for not blogging

Sorry for not blogging I have been a little unwell with back pain which I think is sciatica, it is not that comfortable to say the least, but I am ok. I will keep blogging.. 

a mini wobbly

I nearly did not blog this , but as this is a honest blog, I though I would.
On late Saturday evening I had a meltdown , I screamed , cried and even swore that life was not fair and how hard it is living with this horrible cancer.  I curled up in a ball on the spare bed and sobbed by heart out, till there nothing left. But instead of staying there I got up apologised to John and Sophie.  I have now put it behind me and it did do me good. I know what triggered it and I will avoid that situation at all costs now..

Cancer hurts the people aroind you.

Living with this cancer is not that easy, but it is easier to smile than be miserable, but knowing that the people around you are hurting and finding the cancer hard to deal with somehow makes me feel guilty for having it. I know that there is nothing I can you do about to to stay positive and fight , which is what I am doing. I am very lucky I have such a good family and some very good friends that  I see regularly.
The weekend was good, Friday evening a BBQ because Jacks parents were over, it was lovely to see them. Cycle ride with John in the rain and wind on Saturday followed by a local flower show , which I had entered some home cooking, did not win a thing the standard was very high. I do like seeing the veg on show... Sunday was spent doing house work.

this week is Fun

This week has been good.   Monday Sophie had the day of for the dentist, which was not fun for Sophie but we did get to spend the day together. Tuesday I had a lovely session at art and today a visit to Tetbury with Celia , where we had a very tasty lunch and some very good retail therapy.

After the highs come the lows

When you have achieved something and you are on a high you can expect a come down and I have had mine. 
Saturday Sophie , Mo and I organised the food and registration for an Open meeting at the sailing , it was lovely to be at the club and do the event but my heart has gone from sailing and the club. Sometimes you move on and have to embrace the new challenges.
Saturday evening we saw the Mamma Mia film, girls night out, it was very good, but the story line was a bit to close to home....
Sunday, back on the bike and all was going well till cramp set in cycling up to Oldbury Church, it hurt and we had to get home. I was alright cycling the flat, but hills, ouch!!. So with Phil's encouragement we cycled though Thornbury, uphill , along the A38, the start was up and then glad to me home.... Back at home Sophie and  cut all 3 dogs..just to cool them all down.

very tired, but still swimming

I am very tired, but when Sally said would I like to swim in the lake I did say yes, too tempting and I am glad I did , I swam 1 lap without my wetsuit and a bad pair of googles that did not fit as I had to borrow some as they were in my other swimming bag !! But the swim was really refreshing , cold getting out so I was glad of small cycle ride home and my legs felt ok ish.
Baking this afternoon for the RS200 open meeting, so I am hoping we will get some visitors now..

Longcourse, Tenby, we did it...

Before the swim

We did it !!!!  Over 3 days we swam, cycled and ran.
On the Friday Phil and I swam ,1.2miles and John Sally, Gavin and Richard all swam 2,4 miles in the sea, it was hard and I have done plenty of swims !!

Finishing the run

With run medals

Then the Bike , Phil, Jack, Katie, Sam and I cycled 45 miles mainly uphill and  it was very hard and and we were pleased for the support from the family who were on the course. We did finish and the feeling was great. Mum and dad and Aunty Jenny  and Uncle Tony at the bottom of one very hard hill and Celia, Sophie and Sarah and the bottom of the other,  We needed there support.
John cycled  66 miles and Richard, Sally and Gavin cycled112 miles. I will never know how they did it.




Then to Finish it off we ran. Phil and I just did 5 k ,  we it  ran together to keep each other going. brilliant  run and great atmosphere.

Tri Club after the run

John, Celia, Gavin and Sam did 10k and Sally, Jack and Katie ran the half marathon , do not how they did it...
Such a brilliant Family effort.
I must not forget to mention the Tri Club, Sean  who swam 2.4 miles, cycled 112 and ran half marathon  , all in a very fast time, came 2nd in the half marathon.  Ben and Jake  .swam 2,4 mils , cycled 112 miles and ran a marathon, Liz cycled 66 miles and ran 13 miles, Jess swam 2.4 miles, cycled 66 miles and also ran a marathon. Sabrina also cycled and swam. Great to be a member of a tri club.


Support team having a break

They called us athletes a lot over the weekend and I felt like one, it was brilliant.. I felt brilliant …



On my way to Tenby

I will not blog on Sunday as I will be in Tenby and by that time the event should be over and hopefully  I would have done it all.
I am very much looking forward to spending time with the family. Phil and I have trained hard for this... fingers crossed we do it. There will be plenty of photos...

blogging today instead of wed

I have been resting and getting ready for Tenby. I do feel so much better. I am so nervous about the weekend, only Edinburgh compares to this when I doubt that I will be able to do the event, the other events I have quietly confident.
So I cycled  to Art today on my old bike to deliver stuff then came home as I had things to sort out.
Felt weird being on my old bike without clip on.
So tomorrow a little swim with Cathy and John and then fingers crossed I will be event ready..

More bike rides and tired

The exercise continues with another bike ride with Phil, very enjoyable though. only 25 miles.
My moods are still on the low side and I am not sure why, maybe it is because I am tired and I have pushed my  body a step to fair with the exercise.   Living with cancer is so hard and this week it has got  to me, I am sure I will bounce back, I will just have to accept that there  will be the odd week where I will feel like this !!

Down Days

Thought I would share this . I do get down days and yesterday was one, I felt very tearful all day and for no real reason. Yes I am living and a good life it is. I am also good at blocking out the cancer, but it never leaves however hard you try. I am also grateful for the core of friends and family around me that keep me sane. Better day today  !!

Cconcorde event

last night a group of us from the tri club and family, walk and ran around the run way by Concorde. it was a brilliant event and the atmosphere was brilliant, I ran 5k with Sally and Sophie.
This morning I had a good pool swim with Sally, not up to usual standard as I have a pulled muscle in my should, so plenty of float work, also had a good dog walk with Sally.

The weather is too hot.

Life is just ticking over. More bike riding with Phil and John and more swimming with Phil , then more bike riding on my own... What  will I do with myself. The weather is far to hot for me and it makes the bike rides hard. I am so lucky to have my family around to help me do these made things. Not many people have most of the family to go away with and exercise with.

Countdown to Tenby

When  I  entered Tenby,I  I never really though I would be well enough to do it, but I am and the training is hard and I am now bored of it.... I do not know how Sally trains for her Ironman ,I think she is brilliant to do all the training. So I have ran, swam and been  on the bike and I am on the bike again tomorrow morning, just an hours ride.. I am not moaning really. plus I am sugar free as much as I can , I do not eat cakes, sweets etc. I also try to avoid red and processed meat..I am still being good !!!

sailing with John

I have done the usual bike ride over to the bridge to Tintern  this weekend , more miles and it is feeling ok. Sunday I did go sailing with John to the other side of the river and back and I back, it made mw realise how much I enjoy sailing ,so much to do, so little time.

ladies of Bangkok , swimming and bike

Sarah, Phil, Sally, Katie, dad and Sally had a brilliant evening, such a fabulous show of singing , dancing and plenty of laugher. When they say life is for living this is what they mean.
Then back to the boring stuff, I have been on the bike , gone for a run and been swimming, getting a bit bored of it all now, but want to do well, so we have to push on.
I did have a brilliant time at art and I enjoyed shopping for a ag with Sally, did not by a bag, came away with a dress!!
Also trying to be tidy and finish jobs !!! I am getting there !!!

Too Sally and Jacks for SUpper.

Another  Bike ride with Phil and I really did not want to go. 32 miles later having been to Berkeley, Oldbury and all round we finish the bike ride and I did enjoy it very, . Also Sally and Jack are back in Bristol it is great, we all went around for a meal, which was brilliant . Nice having the Family close. Dress shopping with Sophie and mum today. We did manage to get Sophie a dress. We are going to a wedding in August. Sally is bridesmaid to her friend Abbie and Sophie and   I got an invite!, hence new dresses ….

Trying not to be busy !!

I am trying not to be too busy .. But the trouble is if someone say do something I tend to say yes !!
A good session at art, I drew a wood pecker, Aunty pat now comes and it is great to have her there.
I have also been swimming with Cathy in the pool, swimming has felt good this week. A bike ride in the evening with John and another swim in the lake this evening, it was a coached session and it is good to have a refresher on the skills you need for the open water swim, I also love being taught and feel you are never too good for a lesson.  My buzz for open water swimming is coming back. I am now training hard to do Tenby weekend where I  hope to a 1 mile swim and a 45 mile hilly bike, the determination is there, the body has to follow !!!!
Enough about exercise, I have also had  coffee and cake with Jane and Marilyn, which was lovely, gone shopping with Sally and walked with Judith . Next week is quieter, but then they do say life is foe living and that is what I am doing !!!!!

living with cancer is hard..

I am still feeling tired, but I am getting there. But in true Julie style I have gone on the bike ride, but a shorter one and I did go swimming in the quarry today. I still feel ropey, but I need to exercise as it keeps me mentally sane, without exercise I think I would get very depressed and that is not going to happen.
I do find living with this cancer very hard, I am still here but because of the nature of this cancer you are never sure when it will return. I do plan, but it is hard to plan and at the back of your mind you never know if you will make it to the things you have planned.

I have been doing to much

Well things have finally caught up with me and I have had a little bug, just feeling very sick. So I have been grounded for the day. I might give myself another couple of days to get myself sorted as still feeling rubbish now. I think it is my body telling me something - like slow down... which I am not good at.

Back to normal

Well, thing are getting back to normal I think, time to breath, sit back and take in the last week.
So my normal is going out on a 28 mile bike ride with Phil and John. I really could not be bothered to do this ride as I felt tired and half way though going up a hill  I did think what am I doing her !! But we stopped at a tea shop and the rest of the ride was ok, but having managed a ride feeling like that it has inspired  to do more and fight on.
Today we helped Sally and Jack by going to the tip 3 time, how exiting!!  it was so busy. I also did 2 weeks worth of ironing, so it back to earth with a bump, but do you what I am glad to back to the boring things. Walking tomorrow night with the girls .

MY Birthday and Radio Bristol

Well I was 50 yesterday and I was treated to an indoor sky dive. The family drove me all the way to Basingstoke without telling  me what was going on. they found it funny, I just wondered what they were up too. Sophie put her hands over my eyes and it was a great surprise to see  what we were up too. John, Sophie, Sally, Jack and I all had a go and it was brilliant.. The girls and my mum also wrapped me up 50 presents and decorated the house in 50 stuff.
In the evening we went to the Ivy for a meal which was very good and Sophie made me a Birthday cake.
Today Mo and  I went to radio Bristol and I did an interview about my brain tumour and How I live with it, It was very interesting and I am good at talking !!   it was also to promote Brain Tumour Support.  I also did an interview for their facebook page.
After that I went to help Sally and Jack.. They moved from Cardiff to Bristol today and I was there to help them unpack. Nice to have them close..
A rest tomorrow...

The Bike Ride

The Bike Ride has happened. 138 crossed the start the start line. The weather was slightly windy and not to hot.   Without the help from the sailing club, family, friends this event could not have happened , we have also had fantastic support from Brain Tumour Support.
If you read the Thornbury Gazette online it says it all and the pictures are fantastic.

But one last thing.

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE THAT HELPED AND BAKED.

Bike ride on Saturday

Well it has been a busy week sorting out the bike ride. Tuesday we held a meeting up the club for all the volunteers which went very well. John did a good slide show, then Wednesday was clearing at the club and doing the registration packs. Today was ASDA for rolls that I had ordered, but when I got there someone should have phoned me to say that the bakery  was out of order and my rolls were not there, I was not happy but one of the staff was very helpful and we cleared the shelfs of rolls and she said she would do the moaning for me!!  swimming in lake later..

Busy with the bike ride

This week has been busy with the usual stuff. Lunch with Sally and Anna in Bristol and of course watching the Royal wedding. Today Phil, Jack and I cycled to Berkeley , great fun, got lost  getting there and ended up near the motorway, not where we thought we were. Got there in the end. Nice stop of the café for cake and we did not get lost coming home. Mum is cooking us all a roast this evening.
Also so busy with the Bike Ride, next week I do not have a spare moment, but it does make me feel that I am doing something. I am not really a coffee  and cake person  and prefer it when I have things going on and achieving something.

The Sailing Club

This week has been busy and leading up to the bike ride is a little manic to say the least. I  cycled to the sailing club yesterday just checking things. They have a Wednesday morning group who do jobs around the club, this has been going for some time now and it is lovely and relaxed. The sailing club is like a second home to me , just looking across the Severn  and sitting on the bank you could be anywhere in the world... The support we have had from everyone at the club has been fantastic, you only have to mention that something needs doing and it is done... 

Walking in Blienheim

This weekend Sophie, mum, Elaine and Celia went to Blenheim , this is our 7 year of walking together. Sophie joined us this year!  Mum , Celia and Elaine walked the 20 miles, Sophie and I walked the 10 miles. We managed to meet them at our 4 miles and their 14 miles to walk the last 6 together. Walking through Blenheim Place  is fantastic. We walked though woods, fields, past baby lambs, over bridges and past wonderful lakes, we took it all in...  We also laughed a lot,. that is why I like walking with them...The Pink Ribbons walks are very well organised and the massage and meal at the end was very welcome.   Sophie said she really enjoyed the walk and I am hoping she has the bug... I also hoped she enjoyed the weekend away with the girls,,
On the way home we visited Burton on Water, lovely place and nice cream tea.

I also have to say John and Gavin done there first Olympic tri, alongside Sally and Richard and plenty of people from the tri club, all of them done really well.

My family and friends

I have been told that I inspire  people, I feel very humble when people say that as I look at myself as ju being just very determined !!
I can only do the things I do  because I have a very supportive family and brilliant friends.

This lady has inspired me !!
My mums cousin Denise has just cycled 100k through the night and I found out today she wrote on her just giving page that  I inspired her.. Well she  has inspired me to keep fighting. Not only did she cycle 100k but it was through London and through the night. She popped to see mum today and I went down and the tales of her and 2 friends made me smile. As she put it she is usually watching her husband, who has done marathons for charity .. So proud of our Family..

I will not go on any more, but the family is close and we do a lot together and that is what keeps me strong, because when it looks like I am going to fall, they are all ready to catch me.

Novice trilathlon

I did a novice triathlon today with Phil, Richard also done the Sprint. I was very nervous before the start and when  I woke up did not want to do it !!. With John encouraging me I did do it  and yes I really enjoyed the swim and the bike, can not say the same about the run, legs felt like jelly  after getting of off the bike, but I did finish and I beat Phil !!!!, but before the start I did say he was allowed to beat me if he wanted !
Thank you to Sophie and John for taking me and helping me get ready for the tri. Off to Phil and Sarah's for a BBQ this evening. Perfect Day :) :)

Badmination Horse Trails

Today I went  to Badminton Horse  trails with Anna. It was a great day. We watched some dressage, which I love watching. We also did some shopping. I bought a massage cushion, this will ease my aches and pains from all the  exercise I have been doing.

Theatre, Cycling and Watching Sally

I have been busy!!!  We went to see the Band at the Hippodrome on Friday evening, it was a show produced by Take That and it was brilliant, the story was funny and I knew all the Take That songs.
We booked the tickets in November and I am so glad a made it to see such a brilliant show!!
Saturday 6 of us cycled some of the bike route in Wales, very hilly, but good fun. I am getting better at hills! I also know what it feels like for your chain to come off!,  the bike stops dead and your brother  nearly goes into the back of you !
Sunday saw Sally run a Marathon in Newport, she took just under 5 hours. I am so proud of her. She had great support as mum, dad, Phil, Sarah, Richard , Katie and Sam.  Jack was a very good bag carrier and Sophie ran a few yards with her to keep her going. John also provides a very good chauffeuring service.
I am now in bed , shattered..

The next few weeks are going to be very busy as the Bike ride now has a waiting list and I have a tri and a 10 mile walk before it. But as they say life is for living!!!

swimming in the lake

Well  what a busy weekend , but a really enjoyable one.
Friday  I pottered with Sally in the afternoon, then in the evening I had my first swim in the lake, it was not as cold I as had expected it to be!!. Very enjoyable.
Saturday Sophie and I joined mum and Celia for the last 8 miles of a training walk . Sophie was brilliant and I can not wait to do the walk with her..
Sunday back on   the bike and I cycled 20 miles on my own, it was great, such freedom and I am going faster I think ! We also went to the
sailing club .

getting back to swimming

For a while I think I had go off swimming, not sure why, but I had. I am pleased to say it has come back... Swam with Sally on Monday and again today with Cathy and it did feel good. I have to get back into swimming as I have a novice tri soon...
 I also had my hair cut today which was very good. I cycled back on my old back and it felt very weird. I have also been on a training walk with mum , Sophie and Bertie, very enjoyable walk. I think I am just enjoying life at the moment !!

Walking and on the bike again

In May I have a novice triathlon and a walk in Blenheim with Sophie, Celia , mum and Elaine are doing the 20 miles. So today Sophie and I joined the other and walked 6 miles, I really enjoyed it as I love chatting to Celia. Sophie was brilliant and we are walking again next  week. We fininhed with a picnic , the others had done 10 more miles than us!!
Today I went on a 16 mile bike with Phil, a bit faster today as training for the novice tri we are doing at the beginning of May. This afternoon we drove the bike route for the Bike ride, we are also cycling this route in a couple of week, it is very scenic.... Now working out where the Marshalls are going.
!

Taking things slowly

I am pleased to say I have not been aching from the bike ride, but I have been really tired.
But I  did enjoy a visit from Tina, great to have  a catch up . I have also been to art, which is always good fun. I have also been to see Sally in Cardiff  which is always a pleasure.

As for my emotions , I do struggle at times but I am fight back at the moment. Mind over matter!!!

I did the Tour de Bristol

Today I did a 65K Tour de Bristol with Phil and John, it was a great experience. I do hate hills though, going up one I was pleased with myself thinking I was at the top, little did a realise we were only half way!! It was hard!!!  The last 4k my legs were not happy, but we finished. Julie 1 , cancer 0 on this occasion. I also had a brilliant free leg massage at the end as I was struggling to walk!!
Sally, Ricard and Gavin completed the 100 K. So did Liz , Ben, Andrew and Kirsty from the Tri club.
Lucinda and Steph also did the 65k , brilliant club effort.



First food stop - Still a bit wet

Before the start

Tri Club members after the ride



Ready to go!!!

A bit of a dip

I went to Kates today for counselling . She is great and after we chatted she said I was having a bit of dip in my mood,  not really sure why, I think maybe it is because the lady I was in hospital with as died, she was in the next bed to me. she was lovely and we e mailed each other. Also doing everything for the bike ride and talking about brain tumours  and putting myself in the limelight I have found very hard. I do want to  let the world know about the effects about brain cancer, but after the bike ride I think I will be quieter !!!!!!

I went swimming, well it was more like chatting as I only went to see Cathy. Alison was there too.
I am still itching  a bit after, but with the amount of drugs still in my body it is not surprising.
I am not doing much exercise this week as we have the Tour de Bristol on Saturday. Very nervous about the event !!

Easter

can not believe I am still here, I keep saying that but that is how I feel. I know that other people that had brain tumours the same as me are not longer with us , but I say to myself my job on this planet is not done yet. Do not know why I said that but it what I am thinking!!

Easter Sunday has been good. A 23 mile bike ride with some good hills, John took me up one and I was not that polite to John going up as it as it was very hard and there were easier routes to get to where we wanted !!! But we did and I was nice to him in the end. We cycled over the bridge and it was fantastic views . Super  fit Sally cycled 40 miles with keen cyclist  Gavin and Richard. The whole family doing sport does encourage me , but I will never be at their level.
Sarah then cooked a fantastic Sunday roast and Phil did a very tasty sugar free sticky toffee pudding..
Relaxing now watching Country File .

I like to be busy

I do like to be busy, the reason why is that before I had this tumour I was very busy. Training for a bike ride certainly takes a lot of time.  Monday was spent with Sally which was great , as mother and daughter time is valuable. I had a wonderful bike ride with Celia yesterday, it included lunch at a local pub !!!. I  also went to the cinema to watch "Finding your feet" well worth watching !!1 Today started with my usual swim with Cathy, lunch with Julie and dinner with Sarah and Adrian, they are organising the bike ride with us.
But one of my favourite past times is watching the birds from the sofa , I now have blue tits, Robins and blackbirds, they are so beautiful to watch....

i do get tired, but life is too short to slow down.

I do give in sometimes, I do get tired. The long bike rides takes me a couple of days to recover from, but it is worth it.  Swimming can make me itch, but 2 showers later, problem solved!!!
I have just read a book which is brilliant. Title. ' Life is too short to go ****ing slow'.  It is about a lady that does Ironman events and the person that inspired and encourage her would say the above words, he was also very good at Ironman events, the sad bit is he died of cancer , but fought it hard. This book made me sad, but it also made me smile and it did inspire me to fight on.   Us sport people are a hardy breed...

So today I went for a bike ride alone, Phil was ill and John went sailing. It was one of best bike rides yet, cycling 30 miles and I did not get lost, meet someone from Thornbury cycle club and chatted to her . She said I could join them, but I was well into my route so I stayed on course. I also had to stop outside Almondbury Church for the Palm Sunday pride. So pleased to stop as I saw Ro who is lovely and a little girl sat on  my bike . I also handed out some more bike info... .

holday in Kent

Kent you may ask. It is very nice here, we have gone to Canterbury Cathedral which was very good and walked on the White Cliffs of Dover , very interesting watching cars load on the ferries !!!. We have also swam a lot, as there is a swimming pool here. Just to say it has been relaxing the break we all need. We are here till Friday and then home.

a true cyclist, I was shouted at!!

Friday I went back to swimming after a 2 week break and it felt good not only to swim but to chat to Cathy and the other people there. My skin had been itching after swimming, but I took another swimmers advice and showered again as soon as I got home and I am pleased to say not itching.

Saturday a 21 mile bike in the snow and wind, it was hard and John put some good hills in, also Phil and I got shouted and sworn at for not pulling over in a country lane, there was a natural space for them to get past 2 min later, it was not nice,(Phil, said we are true cyclist now) but then some people are not nice!  overall the ride was very good.

Today I just pottered walking Bertie and Benji in the snow. Both dogs really enjoyed running in the snow.

We are going to Kent tomorrow for 5 day, a well needed break, living with this cancer thing is hard at times, mentally as well as physically.

living life

This  week John is away with work so it is just Sophie and I and we have been ok. the week has been busy with mum taking me to counselling at Kates, then onto the running shop for mum to get her trainers. Tuesday was the usual art, cycling there now. I also did a cycle ride today, only 11 miles, but plenty of hills, then I had my hair cut which I love. Off out this evening with Sophie to the Harvester(John 's not keen on them) A place we always go to when John is away..

Mother's Day

I have said plenty about me in the past, but this one is to say how glad I am to have so a great mum, not only do I do charity walks with her and enter events , she also acts as my taxi and helps me clean the house when things get too much. I do not do soppy so that is as good as it gets!!
Also with any child with a terminal illness I know that all mums must find it really hard and if I could for one moment make things easier I would.

Also for Sally and Sophie knowing that there is a good chance mum will not be here next year is hard and again I would do anything to take the pain away. but I am very lucky to have 2 such wonderful daughters !!

Not feeling my best

 I have had an ear ache on and off and I have not been swimming, so I am feeling a little fed up this week. I have been shopping with Mo and dog walked with Emma and Heather. I have also been to art , but that is pretty much it !!

Swimarathon and more cycling

Friday being snowed in I baked and made a snowman with Sophie
. Saturday the snow started to melt and the Swimarathon  was on. Cathy, Jessica, John, Gavin, Richard and myself had to swim for 55 min and see how many length we could do in that time. it was a relay and  We did 159 lengths, John say it woks out at 21 seconds a length, it was really hard work, but such incredible fun and a brilliant team spirit . We also raised money for the Rotary Club.
Sunday I went for A 16 mile bike ride with John, a little nervous because it had snowed and I thought it was cold, so wrong, I was boiling!!!. But we stuck to the main roads and it was lovely ride. The
afternoon you I did some more cooking !!1

Swimming with Smiles Team

Bert loving snow 

Cyling home in the snow

Monday was spent pottering in the house and my usual dog walk. Tuesday I went to art, John took me as dad is away, it was great fun. But the bike ride home was different, I had Sophie's old bike and I though that is it not snowing and it would be ok, wrong !!!, I left in sunshine , then it snowed and I could not see ahead, it was fun in a weird sort of way. I did get cold but hey ho, it meant I did not have to go on the bike trainer. Wednesday I went swimming then to the Mail with my friend Sarah, which I really enjoyed. The whole bike ride is only really taking place because chatting to Sarah and Adrian we all thought it was a good idea !!!  We all love a challenge and it is doing me good to have it to focus on. Today I went for a dog walk with Heather and meet up with Pam and her son walking their dog, so Bert had a good walk.. This afternoon I spend modelling sugar fondant for a cake I am making.  

a bit over whelmed, fun at the club

With putting your head up and shouting is all well and good, but I have felt a bit overwhelmed by it all. I do not want to be one of those people who has cancer and says why me, why anyone , but doing things like going in the gazette is hard, it somehow makes it all real again and I know it is realm there is no escape, but it make  it realer (if that is a word). I. t I am ok , on ward and upward as they say.

 Friday was my usual swimming with Cathy and John and food shopping with Mo.Cycled 25 mikes with Phil on Saturday and a bit saddle sore, but cycling is getting  better. Sunday Sophie and I went to the sailing club to get volunteers etc. It was so funny listening to how many miles they are going to cycle, many were thinking the shorter route, but with the banter that went on, not sure what they will end up doing!!  Poor Henry has now entered the middle distance and has not been on a bike in years, although he is young. I also got people to be marshals which  was good.

I am in the local gazette

Wanting to raise awareness of the Bike Ride the sailing club are doing I phoned the gazette and chatted the poor man to death, hence I had my photo taken and an article written on me, this has bought a bag of mixed emotions, sometimes you forget the tumour is there, but when you do thing like this it all comes back,, but I want people to know about  the tumours and the support you can get. Someone has to raise their head and shout about it and I guess I am loud enough to do it !!!

Theatre, more cycling and Bertie tries agility.

On  Saturday we went to Watch   " The play that went wrong", it was very good , followed a meal out in Bath, very nice day out !!
Sunday we cycled 25 miles, not that fast, but we cycled it, best part of the ride was seeing Cathy  when we stopped at the shop in Oldbury for a coffee. Cathy is a brilliant swimmer and she will not mind me saying this , but is not so  natural on the bike so imagine my surprise when she stops at the shop for a coffee on her bike, so impressed. She is training for the 20 mile bike ride !!  It really made me smile... the rest of the ride was a little hilly and a bit slow.
Sophie did agility in the afternoon, a taster session, I think Bertie is a natural , he loved it..  A good day today.

THornbury Sailing Club Charity Bike Ride

This is a first for the club.
On Saturday  26th May, the club will be hosting the bike ride. Full details on the Thornbury Sailing Clubs website. This should be great fun, as well as the bike ride there will we a Tombola and face painting. All the money raised will go to Brain Tumour Support, which is the charity that have been really good to me, with out  Kate life would be so much harder.

As for me great bike ride today with Celia , about 18 miles and Lunch out with mum and dad at the Plough in Piling, they have agree for us to let people stop there for a break, very friendly pub...

Feeling a little lost at times but still living

While life is very good at the moment. Thursday I swam and then did a 4 mile bike ride down a long hill then back a though the village which is a slow and steady hill..  Friday I had a brilliant lunch with Anna and had our make done at Clinque. I treated myself to an eye shadow. Saturday Phil and I cycled 20 miles, I lead the way and some places did not come out where I thought they would !!.  But we do laugh and our thighs were not burning doing Up Sunday's Hill.  Sunday , Sophie is in training  for her walk, so off walking again, back up Sunday hill, this time on foot. Then a lovely afternoon pottering with Sophie.
If it wasn't for the sport I think I would go mad. I have always been a planner, but we this cancer  I find planning ahead hard,how I can hope to think I will be lucky enough to live 2 years plus.  I hate not being able to plan !!  I think what has unsettled men that someone a knew  long time ago died of cancer (my age).

What a laugh at art

A coffee with Janet on Monday, then pottering in the trying to sort everything out and of course my daily walk with Bertie, Heather and Poppy. Then I walked again in the evening with Mum, Celia and Elaine.
Tuesday  morning , daily dog walk, then I sat on the bike trainer for 25 min to try and get fit.(boring) Art was brilliant fun, child portrait , mine ended up looking like a bag lady, Calvin who sits next to me found my portrait funny , we did laugh a lot that afternoon.
Wednesday my usual swim and chat with Cathy which I always enjoy, even better now that I am keeping up with her !! I am trying to get inspiration with cooking, so I did some cheese scones , fairy cakes and cereal bars.  I then went for an hours dog walk with Heather.
I am trying so hard to stay positive at the moment, at times it is hard, other times it feels easy !!

Swimming, walking the dog and more cycling.

Sophie after her training walk

Friday I went swimming at Bradley Stoke pool, it was lovely. John swam with me and we took the bike in the car so I could cycle home. I got on the bike then cycled in the wrong direction and got lost, then I realised I did not have a key to get in, so having got my bearing, I cycled to  where John works and picked up the key and cycled home through the lanes, it was good in the end.
Saturday was spent doing housework and giving the dogs a cut. Sally and Jack were home so we had a takeaway in the evening. I am trying to cut out sugar so this was a treat.
Sunday Phil, John and I went for a bike ride. 20 miles today and it felt good. Sally went on her own, lets just say she is super fit!!. Mum and Sophie went on a training walk , getting ready for a 10 mile walk in Blenheim. In the afternoon we pottered, then mum cook a fantastic roast, she does the best gravy !!!

Training for the bike a walk

Well I am officially in training for my 45 mile bike ride with Phil and John . I am also in training to do a 10 mile walk with Sophie. Mum, Celia and Elaine are doing the 20 miles.  We are off to Blenheim  this year, so pleased that Sophie is going to be part of the team. The walk is a bit of a family affair this year, as I do class Elaine as part of the family.
This week I have been to art, natural colour painting, I know what natural colours are !!  Swimming with Cathy and off course a little bit of chatting too. I also had my hair cut , which I love !!

Swimmming, watching Sally and a hard Bike ride

Swimming Thursday and Friday, once with Mum and the other with Cathy. I also had a very good lunch with Anna.   Saturday Sally ran 6 miles with Bertie in a canine cross event, it was very muddy. Bertie who colour is light brown was black at the end .
Sunday Sally  took John , Phil and I on a bike ride to Berkeley and back.  We cycled 29 miles and it was very hard the last 10 miles, boy did I want to stop, but if Phil can keep going so can I !!!!   We did get home and my legs thighs were burning and a slightly sore bum, but   I did enjoy it !!  I am fine now.... We have now decided to aim for 20 or more miles each ride .  

Photo of Sally and Bertie to follow

I do find it hard, but so determined !

I have been asked many times how I cope. I do find it very hard, but I am so determined to say  the  positive. My dad said  the other day, that I have made it easy  for him to cope because I am positive, That is what  drives me !  I may have this awful cancer, but why should everyone suffer too. It is just not fair . I also have Kate (everyone needs a Kate)where I can cry and feel sorry for my self, when I leave there the happy faces  goes back on and the world ok. But I do have bad days and I will let some people know now, but it hard for me to let people know that I am having one .

Back to this week . Went to Helens the dog trainer with Bertie which was excellent. and the usual dog walking with Heather  and Poppy. Art was great, although I was rubbish this week, never use black !!!. I went to counselling with Kate this morning  and this afternoon I spent baking, which I love doing. Swimming Thursday and Friday and looking forward to my swim and chat with Cathy !

cycling and strictly tour.

Getting ready to watch

Brilliant bike ride with Phil On Saturday, followed by a visit to Aunty Pat to see my cousin Lindsay and her new baby Bea and Effie who is 2 1\2 .So nice to hold a baby and n I no longer get broody, well past my sell by date !
Sunday, early start as we caught the train to Birmingham and went to watch the Strictly Live Tour.
It was fabulous Celia , Sophie, mum and I had just the best time, brilliant seats and the atmosphere was amazing !! 
Cheers to living !!!

oops over doing things

I think I may have over done things as I got very tired ! I actually missed swimming today.
I had a great walk on Monday Evening and Art was very good.  I also have Benji this week so plenty of dog walking. Today I took Poppy, Benji and Bertie for a walk in the park, all rolled  in fox's pooh, they stank, try bathing 3 dogs that had pooh all round their faces !!
I take this drink called moa, they have changed the recipe , they say improved, but it has just made me   feel sick !! I have 3 large bottles of it !!  sorry moan over !!
This afternoon I went looking at Dinner and Dance venues with Sarah.  Sarah and Adrian now have to choose one and I do not envy them. I do have my favourite and it not the one I thought it would be !!!!!

I think this is normal.

not sure what my normal routine is at the moment , but I think this is it.
Friday swimming, back to the mile session, food shopping with Mo. Both I enjoy very much.. I think I also went for a dog walk.
Saturday I went for my usual 6 mile walk on the Downs with mum and Celia and  Sunday I went for a 18 mile bike ride with John. John likes hills and I went up and quite a few, I am getting better at them... I will try and remember the route to cycle with Phil. 
The thing about this cancer is that I feel I have to cram in the things that I thought I would have plenty of time to do, hence working harder on the cycling than the walking,  there is some much I want to do with the bike and so little time !!

life does go on !!!

Life does go on, back dog training with Bertie on Monday morning, he can bit a bit funny with big dogs, but thanks to Helen and the group walks he has got so much better.  walking again   on  Monday evening ,  which I really enjoy , art on Tuesday afternoon, I learn something new every day. Today I went swimming with Cathy then out in the afternoon with Sarah looking at Dinner and Dance venues for the sailing Club, it was very interesting,  I did enjoy the afternoon and it did make me feel I was doing something worthwhile.

Now that I am living !!

Now that I am still here , I going to get on with it. Having finished work last year and having no chemotherapy life does feel a bit odd. I have no intention of going back to working life, but I am not one of those people that like to meet for coffee each day. I do need a purpose.  So where do I begin ?
I think I will concentrate on my sport for starters  and maybe some voluntary work, but voluntary without a lot of people, as weird as it sounds I do not want people to get to know me, just encase the tumour come back quickly.  Living with this is hard at times, some days harder than others and some days it is easy.
Enough rambling on .  Busy weekend. Walking with mum and Celia on the Downs was brilliant and I will never get bored of walking there. We have such a laugh, we always  power walk 6 miles, we have  a great hip action !!!!!!
Sunday I was out on the bike with Phil, about 10 miles, it was icy in place, but it felt great. I am getting better at going up hills..  Mike and Lily( John parents) came round for coffee and to finish the day mum cooked roast lamb  for  dinner. Perfect weekend !!

A bit of Banter.

What prompted me to blog this, I have to say swimming, there was so much banter and laughter going on today it was great. (I did swim)To say I love banter is an understatement, during the time I was really ill ( I know I am still ill). I am mean going through chemo, the banter faded  away a but, but it is safe to say it is coming back !!
I am used to people taking the micheal out of me, one day a swimming someone in the fast lane informed Cathy and I that we were in a swimming pool !!! we were chatting at the time...
I know I love chatting and the people that know me I can chat doing anything. Another thing I love is laughter, Mo and I were out today and we laugh at the strangest things , I even laugh at myself !!!!

New Years day dip

John , Phil and I  took a dip in the sea today in Newquay. It  was an event to raise money for CLIC. We dressed up in Hawaiian cloths.  It was very cold and such a great thing to do. The water was very very cold too, but  we all managed to swim, maybe only breast stoke and not very far, but we did swim. I was very grateful to have Sophie and Sarah on the beach with warm cloths at the end.   We are still warming up now, but I would love to do it again !!