Getting Closer to Christmas

Since the tumour in my spine was diagnosed I have said I wanted to make Christmas and although the consultant didn't sound convinced (he said it would be a good goal) I now feel sure that I will be here for Christmas. I am finding it really hard and understand how people loose their fight without really meaning to. The longer it goes on the harder it gets both mentally and physically. I am awake a lot in the night thinking about all sorts of things and it takes me a long time to wake up properly in the morning but even after breakfast I still feel rubbish and tired. As the day goes on I feel better and really enjoy going out for trips but then come back home and spend the rest of the day in bed and cant really do anything for myself, since I need someone to go and get things or make drinks etc. Then in the evening after dinner I feel tired again and drift in and out of sleep for the evening.
The drugs are keeping the pain under control most of the time but I don't feel great which is hardly surprising with the amount of drugs I'm taking.

But as for Christmas the tree is up and looks great, most of the decorations are up outside and I'm getting lots of help wrapping presents.