Starting to recover

The reality of the situation is sinking in. I am so glad I can only memorise so many telephone numbers as it now feels embarrassing how I told people. There is no easy way to tell someone you have a brain tumour, but morphine made it very easy and the people I phoned I knew very well. My sense of humour has always been on the eccentric side.
I have gone from a daughter, sister, wife , mother, friend to someone who needs help, never knew putting clothes on could take so long! I have always been happy to strip anywhere and confident with my body, but when the choice has gone, the dignity kicks in.
Walking has to be thought of and the Julie I knew is there, in spirt, but not in body. But It will get there, Edinburgh Moon Walk 26 miles in a good time will HAPPEN. The journey there might be hard, but with humour, it will be possible. I also want to do a novice tri.

Only woke up once, hurray. Put TV on, could not turn it off and had to ask John for help, slept till John got up to wake Sophie for college. The usual having  a bath and trying to feel  dignified, having gone from someone who can have a full blown conversation while changing after swimming and not worrying who see my body, to be aware  that I do not want anyone to see my body, the choice has gone.

A small walk in the park is challenging, going from a runner. Power walked to thinking about every step is different and todays walk I felt  tearful, grieving for what I have lost I could do,  but making sure I making sure I will get better, to run, walk, chat .I feel I have lost the person I was and have to regain something new, but I am very positive and do believe, that things happen for a reason.