Monday, 21 November 2016

another post today

I hope it will help me
The better I am feeling, the more the emotions are over taking. I think in some way I preferred it when I was on morphine. Sally said I was loud on the ward and she did not know what was going to come out of my mouth. That is nothing unusual as I have a habit  of opening my mouth before the brain as time to think.  I am also a worrier by nature and wear my heart of my sleeve. I am also a complete control freak and I have never felt so out of control .


I feel so sorry for John having to live though this, he never signed up to nurse his wife. I do not want to a pain to him. The same for Sally. It will hit Sophie in a different way. Even seeing other members of my close family come to terms with this hard, I will not be there to nurse my mum  and dad in old age if they need it or help them out .


Looking forward to the counselling from Hammer Out. I have had it in the past, after Sophie and when my sister Clare died 25 years ago in  riding accident.

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