There are no books to tell you how to live now.. I do keep myself busy, meeting Aunty Pat with mum in Thornbury this morning and making our yearly apple chutney with Janet this afternoon.
However I do feel lost sometimes. there is no chemo and that scares me, it has been part of my life for so long, it has become the normal. However I do have to live and however weird to sounds it feels hard at times.
My usual food shopping with Mo tomorrow which I do enjoy as Mo makes me laugh.
I do worry the cancer will come back quickly, but I am good at not dwelling on it most time, but sometimes it does hit me. Mo does laugh when I tell her I can now think of October, living one day, one week and not thinking further than a month ahead, I am too scared to go that far, to think I may be one of the lucky ones that lives longer with this cancer.
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