Art Class with Dad

Today started of with the usual walk to the Park with the dogs. Then Sophie and I went wellington boot shopping , with no luck..
Dad picked me up at 1.30 for Art.  The  class started at 2, but we were there early for dad to set up the tables. I thought 2 1/2 hours of art might be boring, how wrong I was, there was not enough time!!
I sat between  dad and his friend and they both gave me plenty of help, we painted a picture of mainly sky ,Sounds boring, but not boring at all and very hard to describe, but it was so interesting.  The teacher also explained things very well. I have to finish it at home and I look forward to doing that.  I am also looking forward to going next week.  life may be changing but I am going to embrace the change as this is the new normal, as John puts it, doing retirement things early!!!
Off out for a meal with Elaine and Emma, fingers crossed the sickness does not get any worse, but the sickness is getting better. Well I did have to come home early, not the sickness, but a spinning head !!!. I did not have a sleep today, so it may be that or it is the first meal out in along time!

Penny Bohn with Mum

Today mum and I went to Penny Brohn, a fantastic place that deals with the mind, body and soul.
But before I tell you about the morning I will tell you about the journey there. It is mean't to take 19 min, while it took 1 hour, we got lost. I have no sense of direction and mum said she knew where she was going, it said take the second turning off the motorway, we took 4 th then 5th but not second, then we ask directions and amazingly we get there.
The morning starts with a herbal tea, then we go into a lovely room and have a chat by a doctor on what the centre provides, then after that a armchair keep fit class, which was very good fun. All you needed to know was your left and right. I do not know my left from my right, neither  did the lady next to me which caused a lot of laughter and we did laugh. Relaxation followed and that was brilliant. This was followed by acupuncture, again very good, I  think I fell asleep. Then a chat with the chemo nurse. Mum and I stayed for lunch which was very tasty. The morning was brilliant and I was glad I went with mum as it made it fun. I know the place is all about relaxation and it did that for both of us, but it also made me feel good.  Just to let you know we didn't get lost on the way home, we went to Bristol instead of the M5 , but this time  we knew we had gone wrong so all we had to do was turn around ..... We got home in the end !!!!
When I got home Judith popped in with Slinky for a play, then in the evening I went walking, an extra lap tonight.

Cooking Sunday Lunch

This is the Sunday Lunch I have cooked since I went into A nd E with a headache, at that time little did I know what was to follow!!!
With Jack parents over I was determined to cook roast and with the help of John and Sophie we managed it and it felt great cooking again. I did need a nap about 11 as still very tired. But we did cook a roast and an apple crumble to following, plus a cake Sophie made yesterday. I am passionate about baking , Sophie loves to bake to so it is a good thing to do together.
Tom and Lyn enjoyed the lunch and a cup of tea afterwards, then they had to catch a plane back.
We are going over there half term and during the meal the trip was planned Something to look forward too.
After they left Sophie and I visited mum for a hair cut, I say that in loose terms, she tidied up my hair, not the best person at the moment to have a hair cut as every time she went near the sensitive area they was a few oo.s  and ah.s. We got  there in the end!!
Back home Elaine popped in for a catch up. When she left the sickness set in. so another evening on Sophie's bed watching TV.

A busy day

The day starts with breakfast in bed, due to the sickness John as been a saint and brings me toast and tea, this generally takes the edge of the sickness. When I question if I shall walk, he tells  me to go as I will enjoy it !!  I do walk with mum and Celia and I do enjoy it.
Back Home and Sally come in with Lynn, Jack mum from Ireland, they are over on a break, later Jack and his dad Tom arrives. It is great to see them. Feeling very tired I do have to go for a sleep while they are here. My head still does not feel right , bit fuzzy and  before comments a written what is different. Paul, Alex, Izzy and Daniel pop up for a catch, John had arranged this and it was brilliant.
A day being spoiled by Sophie and John, as they cooked dinner.
Sophie had typed up the blog as I was about to throw the laptop onto the floor, as everything I was typing up, it was coming back to front. I nearly didn't write the blog and Sophie offered to do it.
Spending the evening watching TV in Sophie bed with Bertie

a better day

Today Janet gave me a lift to the leisure centre to meet Cathy for coffee. Richard and Sally had also been swimming. Not  really that jealous!!!!
Anyway we all went for a coffee and tea cakes in Thornbury , it was very good. We came home and Poppy came round to puppy play with Bertie, that went well too.
It is my first day without an anti sickness tablet so from about 2 ish I have been feeling sick, even with eating plenty of ginger.. So I will stop blogging now as I feel very sick, laying in bed with Bertie, but I am so determined not to take the pill as it does have side effects which even I can not blogg about......

Just to say do not know how  I would cope with my Bertie, he never leaves my side and know when I not well.

A hard day

I say that because it has been, emotionally I mean. I had a lovely walk this morning with Janet, mum and Heather.  When I got back a quick cup of tea with mum, then a rest.
Sally and I went shopping before counselling which was good. Counselling is very good, but it brings up many issues that you need to address and want to address, it leaves you feeling raw..
I also went out with the tri club, it ended up Ben and Liz in the end and we really chatted, for some reason I really opened up and they said to put down in writing how I really feel. So here goes...
When you are told you have a brain tumour you are in shock, then when you are told it cancerous you are in disbelief , then you have to somehow get your head around it all. What I have found hard is the sympathy I am given. I know that people mean well, and I do like it and it is hard for people to know what to say to me, but somewhere along the line I have felt my identity has gone. Before tumour I was working, training for a tri and swimming all the time, however, now I have a brain tumour which means I can not drive, swim, work and this makes me feel rubbish. I like control and I feel so out of control . I do not know how the next lot of chemo will make me feel and I just hope and pray the treatment is working. I dread the next scan and will not open any letters in case the date for the scan is on it. I will also not open any mail with my name on in case it is bad news again. I hate seeing the effect the illness has on my family and friends. It is hard knowing you are hurting the people you love and there is nothing you can do about it!! I try so hard to stay positive but it is so hard at times.
But what I do enjoy is being out with Liz , Ben, Marcus and Andrew and talking about there next tri events. I enjoy telling them what I hope to do.   I love talking about my bike.
I enjoy walking the dogs and talking about dogs. I love walking with Celia, Mum and Elaine, I love baking and talking about food. I love reading e mails, especially Cathy's when she talks about college and what she is up to. I love hearing about  what people are up to and there everyday lives.

Another Chapter

This morning it did feel weird waking up knowing I was not going into hospital, but the feeling of sick , or shall I say  very sick has not gone away. I walked the dogs with Emma today and I can safely say it the sickness did not go, but I did walk, John almost pushed me out of the door.  After the walk Megan and big bump from work  came and we went out, first to Glebe to see everyone, I nearly did not walk through the door as  facing people is hard, but I did walk in and I was glad, it was good to speak to everyone and met the newish activity lady Wendy and she is great, it was also good to  talk to Carey my boss. I will not be back at work for a while as I have a month of  from treatment then I have to see how I react  to the  first month of chemo, 6 months in total. My whole world feels very uncertain at the moment.  After Glebe Megan and I went to the Garden centre  for lunch, then home.

I did go to Aldi, step to far, as Sally said I was not with it and she was right, back home for a sleep...
Feeling groggy now, hoped I would feel better than I do, they said I would not, but I hoped I would be different, I live in hope... 
Would like to say I am partying the night away, but I am actually sat on the sofa with Bertie , feeling sick and Watching TV.

Last Day

My last day of my radio therapy. This has been a positive experience, some may ask why. The reason being is that not only have I seen the NHS at it best, but I have met the most amazing people that have somehow helped me in a weird way come to terms with the tumour and it horrible diagnosis , it has also given me the courage to fight and think positive.
Back to my day, my appointment is at 1.15, but Sally and I get there early to be greeted by Sandra and John, they waited to say goodbye, but is not goodbye as we will see them again!!.  They say I have inspired them , but little do they realise they have inspired me too, not only in there friendliness , but the way they allowed me to talk and be open and the way they opened up to me made it all so easy..
There is also another couple who sit with us and I can not remember their name, but I will miss them too and the way he was so open about his cancer. They also made us laugh  lot..
Being a hugger, I did hug the staff and I think today I hugged anyone that would have a hug.. So yes today was positive.
The homeless girls was not there today, but I will always remember her and think how lucky I am !!
Back home I do not do a lot as I feel sick, even on 2  sickness tablets a day.. The side effect to these are that they make me bloated. !!!!
The evening is spent being pampered by the girls.

Last review and homeless girl

I finish this round of treatment tomorrow. I will not miss the sickness , it had got better, but tonight it is rubbish.
More on today,
Usual  dog walk with Judith and Heather. Then off to the hospital.   I went in with cupcakes for everyone including  some of the patients that I sit with.  Everyone has been amazing, from the receptionist to the radiographers. John came into day as he has come into every review, John has been amazing though out my illness, without him I am not sure how I would have coped. My usual appointment went well and so did the review, I did ask about swimming and that is a no no for at least a month, outdoor swimming  is a  no for the summer as risk of infection.  But I will still pop to the leisure centre for a coffee with Cathy and when they go to the lake I can go for coffee there too.....  On the whole I have coped with the treatment well, so that is good. Today I also met a lady my age with my cancer at the start of her treatment . I felt empowered  as I told her about hair loss, showed her my bald patch after she asked to see it  and how I handled it, we also said how  rubbish the cancer was but we will both make the most of what we have left...
My homeless girl was there today, I gave her some food and we chatted, I told her I had seen her asleep on the stairway and she said she had not been to well. John even talks to her now.

 

Zip Wire

This morning I went on a Zip wire with John, Sophie, Celia and Richard. It was brilliant !. over in about 45 sec, but ,worth it and brilliant fun. We also had a lovely cup of coffee there. Some even had bacon butties, sausage butties and egg butties. !!!
Today has been good as after lunch  went to Tesco and that was ok, I did not feel to sick.
Back home  Sophie and I pottered. Elaine also popped in for a chat, which is always good.
I also hope you like my new hat from Julie at the Sailing Club, she knitted it for me. I will be wearing it dog walking tomorrow.

Walking and Friends

Well, I did not go walking with mum and Celia due to having the itches, you might ask what that is. well I ate  a ravioli type pasta with bol sauce, I have some food intolerances anyway. To cut a long story short, the meal made  me  sneeze , then it felt I had a cold, then I itched and itched all over, all night, got on John's nerves  and slept in the spare bed and then I still itched in the morning!!! Along with feeling sick not a good night.
But having got up and Bertie needing a walk, I phone Phil and Sarah and they came up and walked in the field. Irene my neighbour popped in which was great. It was also great to see Shaun.
An afternoon out with Celia , another coffee shop and home for a sleep.
Later on I had a lovely surprise visit from Tina with a bag of ginger goodies to help the sickness, I have already started on them.

Reflection

Today is about reflection, first off all people say I  am brave, I am not, I feel brave in hospital where I am  surrounded by wonderful radiographers  and review nurses that smile at you when you walk in and ask how you are, they also ask what you are up too. I am dreading Tuesday being my last day, it is my comfort blanket and I shall miss it more than anyone will realise. I will miss chatting to the other patients and the laughs we share. We all have cancer and it is rubbish, but we all understand one another, they know when I  am feeling rubbish without a word being spoken.The outside world now feels a scary place and I hope I am ready for it....

As  for today I went in for my treatment early, so no chatting time!!!  The rest of the day is quite as I am still tired..

Sophie drove me to Hospital

We left earlier than normal today as Sophie drove me to hospital today.  She  drove very well.
We meet Richard outside the carpark and walked to Cabot Tower , we did not go in it but walked around it. Then for a Tea and diet coke so I could take my chemo tablets.
At the hospital Richard and Sophie  stop at the hats and they end up choosing 3 more bandanas , I have a good collection.
We were there quite a while today as there was a delay and I had to sort out my anti sickness tablets, which they sorted, nothing is to much trouble. NHS at it best!!  I  also had my bloods taken a day

early to check my platelets.  I also have my usual treatment with good music.
it takes a while to leave hospital as we keep bumping into people I know, Sophie informed me that we had been there for 2 hours, it did not feel that long..
Back at the car park the homeless girl is asleep in the stairwell in her sleeping bag. I do not disturb her but leave her some biscuits, it feels wrong that someone can live like that.
Still feeling  rubbish

Sickness or dizzness

Sickness or dizziness that is the question. An extra tablet to sort out feeling sick that makes you feel dizzy ish or feeling sick. Today  I opt for feeling sick.

Sorry back to today, a lovely walk with Emma in the Park and a cup of tea, then off to oncology for my appointment, the car park was full and it was hard to find a space today. Mum and Sophie came today. We did not do much as I think I  we have finally got bored of the cafes in Park Street, but we did buy Prawn sandwiches from Mark and Spencer's in the BRI.
Off to my appointment  and the usual crowd are they and yes we do laugh. I told them about my blog and how I put them down as the laugher crowd and they were pleased I described it that way.  The appointment was very quick . I also chatted to them about my sickness and the dizziness from the other anti sickness tablets. They are such nice people there... The homeless girl is also there at the car park and I now chat to her every day, each day I get more curious, but I will leave it !!
We take Sophie to her appointment and then drive home, I then then sleep on the sofa with both dogs.
I will have another evening watching TV and drinking my diet coke.!!!

The laughing room

Julie and Lisa came round for a catch up this morning which was great.  Off to oncology with  Sally. We do a small amount of shopping before the appointment, buying a bird feeder and food, not the best thing to buy as heavy and big.  We get to my radio appointment and due to a power cut we see a 30 min delay and from experience we know it could be longer, but we are not worried, we just head around the corner to the small waiting room and the usual suspects are there. I think when you are in a rubbish situation it can make humour come out and it did today. There is not a subject you do  not talk about and we laugh at anything and that is what we did today. Some  one who heard us came and said how nice it was to hear us all laughing !!  We  were quite loud. You find yourself telling stories that you would only share with close friends as they would only see the funny side , but today we saw the funny side in everything, even the gown the men wear for Prostate cancer, they look great with stripy  socks!!!   I did have my appointment about 50 min late and we were the last  of the crowd to leave and the wait was ok. The treatment was quick and the music good.
Back home still feeling ropey as the other sickness tablets make my head feel dizzy and I do not like that feeling.  I  will see if things can we changed tom. Sophie cooked a fantastic homemade pie and is pampering me now.

 I must say this treatment is not for the faint hearted . I am now sat in Sophie's bed feeling sick and slightly dizzy, it is rubbish. It feels like I am  walking a Marathon which I have done and I am on the last 5 miles , struggling but determined to get there with the help from my friends..

Stroppy Teenager and Homeless Girl

I was that stroppy teenager this morning, I got out of my bed and sort of hid in the spare bed after John nagging me to get up to walk the dog with Judith in the Park. I did not want to walk, I wanted to stay in bed and sulk. But it did not happen and I got up, texted Judith to say I was on the way, l got there late. But yes I had a great walk, Heather and Poppy joined us too, it was great...
John took me to the hospital today as I had a review. Radio first then the review. I am now taking extra sickness tablets alongside the one I take in the morning.   Fingers crossed it works..
I did ask the homeless girl why she was homeless today, she said it was due to domestic abuse and she had to move away from where she lives to escape it. She said she was not on drink and drugs and that once she had a nice house and job. I can see she had it all once, but I am left puzzled why she is now on the street and I think it will remain a puzzle as I will not ask any more...
Back home  I have a sleep and spend the afternoon pottering.
This evening a very short walk, but I decided not to push it, could have done more.

Bath with the my girls.

John was sailing  early today, so  Sally, Sophie and I went to Bath, But we nearly did not go as I woke up feeling rubbish and I mean rubbish, after a little cry on Sally I said Julie get your act together and we went. I am so glad we did we went to the  Bath Pump Tea rooms . Sally had a coffee and Sophie and I had a diet coke. They also shared a cake. it was lovely, we listened to a pianist playing, he was very good and I could have listened to him all day. the atmosphere in there was very tranquil, just what a I needed.. We did stay a while, then we went for a look around, listened to some buskers and watched some street entertainment. Lunch was in a rubbish pub, but the food was ok. Then back home for a sleep.. Feeling rubbish now, but that is to be expected at 5 weeks of treatment. I have my weekly review tomorrow and I will ask if they can do anything about the sickness.

Photos of morning tea in the Pump rooms

Coffee at the Garden Centre

Well I have to say it has been a quiet day today. I did not walk this morning as the sickness has been not good, so for once I listened to my body and Sophie drove me to the Park and I threw the ball for Bertie, then I had a sleep when I got home. In the afternoon all I did was have a diet coke  and cake  with Celia in the garden centre,  I do love having drinks and cakes out. it is my new hobby!!!!
Tonight will be spent in, John's gone out to buy fish and chips. Some evening can be a bit rubbish as there is sick that I do not mind , then there is feeling sick that I have to sit still with.. and before anyone comments yes I do sit still...  the other thing I will moan about is that my hair is still coming out, just combing my hair it falls out, there is not enough to use a brush anymore. My head feels very smooth, as Sophie says I have hair in places. I now have a good collection of headbands and hats.


PS  while I remember Happy Birthday Aunty Gloria for Tuesday, mum says you read the blog daily and I am so forgetful I might forget to wish you a Happy Birthday. Have a good time.

Walking and Dad came too.

The one thing about meeting someone to walk, is that if you have said you are walking you walk however bad or groggy I feel, this was no exception this morning, if I was not meeting Heather and Poppy the temptation to stay in might have won and I only say might.  We had a brilliant walk the only slippery place was walking out the front door, Judith and Slinky were also in the park, so that was an added bonus.  Although still feeling sicker then ever the walk really does uplift my mood...
Dad and Mum picked me up and we went for another coffee before treatment.   At the hospital dad and I went down to radiology while mum waited for Sophie. She had finished College early. We were early, but that was good as I had to have bloods taken. I have got so uses to this now, it does not bother me.  Dad came into the treatment room and to my surprise, so did Sophie. I am so proud of her and that is an understatement.  I had x rays today as well as treatment, it went quickly as the music was very good.
There was one moment in the hospital today that will stay with me forever, this lady who I have got to know stopped on her way past(last Treatment) and said to her friend I just have to say goodbye. She have me the tightest and most meaningful  hug I have ever had. Who needs words... She also has a rubbish cancer like me.
Back home I sleep for a bit. I also bake some cakes to take to oncology on Monday, as I felt like baking.
I spend the evening in Sophie's bed watching  TV and watching Sophie tidy her room...

Tea in the Guild

Still not feeling right, so I have only been for my treatment today. Richard picked me up and we went for the usual cup of tea . We also bought some lovely food there . The treatment was just a little late and we chatted to the usual people, Richard is very is good at chatting like me.  Afterwards we came straight home and enjoyed a cup of tea together. When he goes, I sleep , the councillor said it was important to rest and for the first time in my life I am listening !!
Sophie and I went to the mall tonight and picked up her ring and got her some sports wear. I now cherish simple things...

Councilling

Had a morning at home as F machine was being serviced. Sue from the Sailing Club popped in and it was great to catch up with everything that is going on.
This afternoon Sally and I went to council ling, it was great, we discussed many things and it really helped.
The blog is very short tonight as feeling rubbish all day, headache and sickness that has not gone away, plus a taste of folic acid in my mouth all day!  an early night and I hope I feel better tomorrow.

On a lighter note got in the shower and I thought my head left weird, touched my head and I  was still wearing my head band  ha ha

Finding it hard to Talk about Cancer

Today has been great- Megan and bump came around for a tea and biscuits, it was great, Megan nagged at me to get the headaches sorted while I was working, and she always knew if I was having a bad day work, so seeing her is good.

Mo picked me up at 11 and we went to the museum today and it was ok. I loved history at school and |I had a brilliant History teacher called Miss Stace (I think) sorry off track again !!!
We then had a coffee at the museum and I took my  chemo tablets. Off to oncology and the usual suspects were there, more chatting. Mo and I also talked to a man that has always been there, but in the other waiting room, his wife was having treatment and he said if you do not mind me asking, what is your cancer, so I told him. For some reason in the hospital I can talk about the cancer, but outside when I am asked questions I find it very hard. I am dealing with it, but just some days I am happy to talk about it, but other days the word brain tumour brings tears to my eyes. The people that do not ask questions tend to get more out of me as I will slowly open up, however direct questions make me clam up and I do not know why!  I am taking a day at a time and John has the other appointments written down, I will ask when they are when I am ready!! I was explaining this to Sally so she told me to write my thoughts down.

Off to a parents thing at Sophie college tonight, lets hope the sickness behaves.

Review and homless girl called Jo

The day starts with walking Bertie, we meet Judith and Slinky which is great, it always starts the day off well. John came to the   hospital. today.
The review went well, my bloods are still good and I have only put on 3 pounds scene the treatment has began, but I am 1/2 stone heavier than I was before the illness, not much you might not say, but pride is at stack here. Cancer takes away enough, the one thing I want to keep is being able to fit into my favorite Jeans !!  The nurse is great and we chat about many things, all I intend to sort out. The treatment follows and the 80's music is good while I have it, the team on F machine are great!!
On the way back to the car we pass the homeless Girl and I give her some food, she asks my name and I tell her, her name is Jo and I ask where she has been, she has been ill. she comments on my headband and I tell her I have cancer and that it covers my bald patches, she then says she talks to another person with a brain tumor, who has a 10 year old daughter. The conversation humbles me a bit as I am not the only one fighting this cancer and on another level it makes me reflect that if there is any way I can help this girl I will, the chances are I will not , but she is in my thoughts.
We arrive home and the phone is flashing , Shirley has phoned on Sunday (Did not notice) and I phone her back, it was great to speak to her and  I am phoning her  again next week.
Off walking later with the Walkie Talkies, Sophie will pick after 3 miles as evening walking is hard....But  well worth it.  

Make each day count

I am determined to do something worthwhile every day so hence this title. I will also put my bucket list up soon, but I  am not sure what it is. I know I want to walk the 26 miles in Edinburgh and compete in the tri - on my application form where there was medical conditions I put fighting cancer and would have done the full one if in full health ... Thinking they dare say no to that!!.  Jack entered with Mum today in the relay. Mum doing the swim and Jack doing the bike and run. Sophie is also now getting into running, due to being part of the team.
While onto today. I woke up feeling good, so we head off to Blaise Castle to walk Bertie, I had already arranged to meet with Phil, Sarah, mum and Dad. The walk was lovely and Bertie was brave fetching his ball from the stream.
.

But cancer does not leave you, I had to take the chemo tablets while out walking and afterwards I had said to everyone we would stop for coffee and chips, we all did but I could not eat the chip as I have to leave it an hour after I have taken my tablets to eat, they did smell good!! Also when I say I have coffee I don't, can not stand the taste of it, but diet coke and cake does not sound so good and I have got used to writing coffee. I do like tea.
Back home for lunch of poached eggs and I am very hungry. I then bake some cakes, while flap Jacks, I though I put some anti dairy butter in, Wrong!! I cook them, eat them ,end up sneezing a lot, phoning up the cancer helpline to see if I can take some anti allergy stuff, they say yes and it works.!!
The rest of the day is spent pottering .

If you want to know what lifts my spirits is e mails of encouragement from the people around me, it makes me fight harder!!

Feelin not so good.

The alarm clock went off, thinking it was 7.30, I told John to phone mum and say I was not walking and was going to stay in bed most of the day  and not see a soul!!, but it was 6.30 and by the time it did go off at 7.30 I had changed my mind to walk. I was however feeling sorry for myself and fed up with the world.
Mum came to pick me up and I was having a cry, but  after a hug, off we go in the car to pick up Celia and Elaine. I am very glad I walked, the exercise done me good, but so did the talking.
Back in time to take chemo tablets and then the an hour later we have lunch. After lunch we go to buy Jack some wellington boots and meet Cathy in Thornbury for more coffee and cake, it was great to chat to Cathy, I  miss swimming with her.
We went to Jazz in the church this evening, but due to an overwhelming feeling sickness we left in the break. But we did enjoy it !!
Back home I am ready to rest.

I have decided mornings are good but due to the chemo and radio kicking in evenings are quite rubbish at the moment.   So batten done the hatch to get through the next 2 weeks!!!

A good day

My usual dog walk . Janet and Toby came  today. I am getting used to the  morning walk and I feel good in the mornings.
Sally took me to the appointment today which was great, we had a coffee and went into one shop.
I am now a bit bored of shopping !!
At the hospital F machine was running a little late, but that was ok as in that time I had my bloods taken. There is a new couple that have the same time as us that are very nice so we chat to them. It is the man that goes for treatment and the lady is great, it is so easy to talk about your illness when you in hospital  as everyone there is going through stuff. I find it hard  with anyone outside the hospital.
My treatment was very quick  and the traffic was not bad so home earlier than we expected. On the way home I had phoned mum to give me a life to Thornbury to collect a sick note from the doctors, I also went in the leisure Centre to cancel my membership(sad moment) as I can not swim. It was the regular staff and they were great !!  Back home I am tired, my head is sore, so I do take some paracetamol . I have a sleep and cuddle up to Bertie.
Another night in as not feeling good. We will have to get back to dog training.  

A little moan, this evening I have felt so sick, so hunting out sickness bands which I was told would help. Should have used them a while ago when I was given the advice, but the sickness has not been this bad, the usual diet coke and ginger biscuits have not touched it.  I do feel better now that I have moaned .....

Cabot Tower today

Elaine picked me up early today so we could go sight seeing. We walked up Cabot Tower and it was great, lovely views over Bristol. There is so much to do in Bristol and we never do . After the walk we had a coffee and Elaine said it felt like we were on holiday. So we are making the most of each day.  We arrive early for treatment and some of the regulars are there and also some new people, but we still manage to chat, Elaine even chats to a new man when I have my treatment, for the first time today it did not go quickly and I was ready to have the mask off!!
Back home all I have done is rested.  Celia popped in for a cup of tea, which was great.
This evening all I am doing is Watching Death In Paradise as I have got a headache and feel sick.
John has gone the  sailing club  AGM . I was hoping to go,  but it is cold so I am better off at home..

Elaine at the top of the tower !!

The Club

Before I talk about the club I say another good walk with Emma and Betsy in the fields. I was also impressed with Bertie, normally when a dog comes into the house he goes from a lovely cocker pooh to a monster, but not today, he did not mind her sniffing around the kitchen :)  Training must be working.
Mum and Sally took me today. We passed the homeless girl on the way out and again I gave her some sweets, she makes me curious and I would love to learn more!!  The usual coffee and then to the hospital where I meet the same people having treatment and yes it does feel like a club. There is a main waiting room, then a little side one by F machine where I have my treatment, I go there.. when  one of the gentleman got called in he joked with the radiographer that he was too busy chatting.... I always go in after him. There was also another lady who is there a lot and she was having a really bad day, transport brought her in 3 hours early, I chatted  about my bad day and how we find the outside world a scary place and in the hospital is a safe place, after my appointment we stayed and chatted with this lady till she was called in as she was on her own. It was an honor to meet this lady..
Back home and Mum came in for lunch , we had lovely Irish bread which Sally had brought back. Mum only stayed a short while as I needed my afternoon nap and I like the house to be empty. Tonight I am  spending in as the nausea is really kicking in at the moment. An early night .

The homless girl

My day starts with a walk with Judy and Slinky, although I did not feel like walking at all. I am struggling emotionally at the moment and I am not sure how to process some thoughts, so I am finding meeting people hard, the nurse said we all hit a wall and I have hit mine, I would like to find the door!!  Anyway the walk was very good.  I got home and mum picked me up to go to hospital, today job was to buy running trainers for Sophie at the running shop, they were very good.
Going into oncology feels very safe and I see so many familiar faces, the treatment is not a chore, it is a safe haven !!
After the treatment we go to the car park where I give the homeless girl, early 20's some sweets and chat to her, I have seen her most days and I have walked past, I walk not walk past again, I may not give her money , but I will talk to her and give her some food. I do wonder what her story is. My outcome may not be good but I have had a very good life !!!
 Mum just drops us off as I am tired and I cancel seeing Janet as I just need to sleep and I have strong need to be on my own with Bertie. Sophie pops out too.
In the evening I splash out and go to the Harvester  with Sophie and Julie. A very good meal. We then go to Tesco as I have ran out of thing. After that I am tired , head home.  At home I head for the shower as it unwinds me, the downside of this is that , my hair really comes out and it is still coming out.

Sailing Club Galley today, then walking

John was sailing on a different boat today and I was doing galley. We arrived at the club with the soup made, Sue had also bought in pies, the question was how many do we put in the oven?. I did not have a clue and I should know what I am doing!!. Joan counted the boats and 30 went in.   While they were cooking Jack and Brenda came up, so did Alicia  , Tom's girlfriend and I spent plenty of time chatting while Joan and Sophie walked Bertie.
Mark a friend of ours who is only a tiny bit younger than me, a few days younger to be more precise but   I am sure he looks older!!! ha ha. He phoned his wife Tina  who was at the mail with their 18 year son buying and Apple watch to say I was there and they came to the club on their way home.
 To say it was good to see Tina  was an understatement, I see Mark all the time at the club. We have been friends scene I met John at 19..Mark first then he was very lucky to meet Tina.   The club house  was busy and more friends came down and we were one of the last to leave again....
  Forgot to say head is less sore, but I am wearing the full scarf when I am out but at home now Sophie has got used to seeing the bold patch, though she does getting annoyed when I play with hair and it comes out !!!
I had a sleep when I got home. Bertie really cuddled up to me then Sophie and I spent an hour or so sorting her bedroom out.
Walking was as good as ever,  4 miles tonight. It was icy, so had to go careful under foot. I also felt queasy for some of it and to keep going when I feel queasy is a mind over matter game.  Back home writing the blog and I still feel sick ( I am never sick and it reminds me of morning sickness, I had it with both girls)
Hospital tomorrow, mum and Sophie are taking me and we are going to buy Sophie a pair of trainers from the running shop near the hospital.

New Year Day

Thank you Denise, hope you like the models

First New Year Eve was brilliant, a lovely meal of lamb cooked by mum and a game of cards afterwards, we play a game  which I am not sure of the name. You have 2 pack of cards, each player has 10 cards each, then on  the first game you have to get 4 of a kind, second a game  4of a a run, then 5  of the above, then it gets interesting with 4 of kind and a run, then the final games is 8 of a run, we all paly with good humor and there is a lot of banter, do not sit behind Celia , John or Phil, say no more.  They call me the nanny Wilmott giving cards away, but I have tactics.  Grampy  Reg was the worse for tactics
I do love cards and played whist every week when I was 14 with Mum, nanny Joyce and Aunty Joan I only stopped when I discovered  pubs and boys !!
Back to New year, we celebrated with Champagne and Old Lang Sign. know the words very well as they have meaning for me, as I never forget the family that we have lost !!

On to today, not much at all really. I spent the day tidying up and being boring. O I did make some soup for tomorrow for the galley at the sailing club and Sophie has decided I need the full cover up on my head, luckily for me  Denise Mums cousin sent me a present of 2 head scarfs for when I lose my hair, so I have worn them today, they are great, so this is my new look.  The only thing I am not sure of is that they say cancer, but I have cancer  and I d not want a wig. ugg.
This evening I will do even less, but I am feeling better for doing nothing !!